By Riju

It has been over a decade now since I have found myself in social justice spaces – sometimes learning, sometimes working, and sometimes just standing at the sidelines watching. I owe a great deal of what I have learned so far, most of the methods through  which I navigate life, and all of my languages to these spaces. My understanding of being feminist has helped me articulate who I am. How my identity interacts with systems has arrived from a belief system that has received much-needed nurturing from working with people and organizations who believe in the same. 

My name is Riju, I am an educator, writer, and a torch bearer of intersectional gender justice and a non binary trans* woman. The statement that I just made has two very distinct parts. The first talks about what I have achieved and the second is who I am. While I write this I wonder if that is the whole truth! My gender journey is my achievement, my body of work has been the ship which has carried it. Or maybe it’s all enmeshed. The thing is, it is impossible to separate my personal and professional truths.

My understanding of being feminist has helped me articulate who I am.

I have left home because I found opportunities to do work I align with away from it, I also left home because I wanted to survive, to let my trans*-self out. I educate because I am good at it, I educate so that I am safe. It is impossible for me to distinguish my aspirations, my identity cannot be separated, life is not binary. And this needs to be understood, especially as folks working in the social impact space. Therefore in this piece I will nudge gently where required and critique with care but honesty if needed.

…life is not binary 

What am I looking to create? The shifts that we need so that marginalized identities (in this context, queer and trans* individuals) can be seen with the skills and knowledge they bring not just from their years of experience but also with their expertise that their lived realities offer. We foreground care and compassion beyond everything. 

This read holds true in any context, however I am centering the development sector that speaks to social justice. It has been a while since I have appeared for my first job, all excited and ready to create  the impact that the impact sector demands. A lot has changed since then, but there is a question that keeps coming back to me again and again. I have been asked about how I, being a trans* person, will work in grassroots communities?

We foreground care and compassion beyond everything. 

What this question actually meant is the first sectoral barrier that I will address. Queer and trans* people are often asked about how much of their identity will they be able to compromise, with the rationale being that the communities that CSOs (Civil Society Organisations) and NGOs work with may not be able to ‘accept’ them as they are. 

But over the years, I have understood that this idea is not based on evidence but on assumptions. Queer and trans* people exist everywhere, but what we choose to uphold and believe is often driven by shame and numbers. 

Truth versus assumptions

In this current political climate where trans* people are being ostracized, we who believe in the fundamentality of democracy and human rights need to be firm in our position. Since fundraising is primarily driven by the Global North, much of the work can and does come to reflect that lens. Which is to say: giver – receiver, donor – beneficiary, community – social worker.

This leads to the creation of frameworks which are rooted in rigidity and not shared accountability. For example: the question of how grassroots communities will react to trans* people is frequently used as a tool to not hire them. The logic that is used here is that communities should be at the center when we implement our programmes.

But when we say communities, we forget that they are not a homogeneous group, there exists power differences everywhere. Queer and trans* people exist in every community. 

Not just that, it should never be assumed that “beneficiaries” are powerless in absolute, incapable of any harm, and the “social worker” is all powerful. This thought is rooted in the belief that a leader can never be marginalised, the leader is the sole giver. This belief may lead to denial of agency to communities we work with and those of us who are imagined as leaders. This belief will never allow equal exchange, co-building and co-creation. 

This thought is rooted in the belief that a leader can never be marginalised, the leader is the sole giver.

And when we shift from a give and take model, to an approach which is co-driven, it will allow us to unfold multiple realities and strengthen relationships with our work, the people we work for and with. 

I am not saying that the fear that trans* and queer folks may face discrimination on the ground is a lie. But this truth like any other truth is not absolute. The reluctance to create safeguarding mechanisms by piggybacking on the statement that ‘ground realities are different’ is the problem. 

Invisibilisation versus unseen realities

When we talk about the evidence of our work, we only see as much as we want to see and not necessarily what is required to be seen. For the last ten years, I have witnessed  many spaces, including those which work directly on gender justice, collect qualitative data on people they impact using only strict binary gender coding. When asked, especially in the context of working with young people, the rationale given has been that there are no gender diverse people in the communities that they work with.

Yet in those very same communities, in those same classrooms, in those same community centers, I have seen adolescent trans* masculine identities and gender non conforming individuals forced to sit with cis adolescent girls, forced to listen to conversations of menstrual health. One may feel that this is necessary information for everyone, but is it at the expense of someone’s safety, at the expense of dismissal of their identity!

Many of these young people have come up to me to seek safety. For them, I have been hope! Hope that they too can thrive. This shows how presence of queer-trans* folks in power can bring to light realities that were unseen, but also spotlight the unfortunate reality where no one else saw us in that classroom. 

‘I am learning’ versus true allyship

Queer and trans* people have existed from the beginning of time, but what breaks my heart is that our existence is still being learned about and continue to be often debated. We were never important enough. In the context of the social sector, even though there have been some changes, we still stand at a place where it is only important to learn about us when we need to be confronted and not beyond. This leads to lasting harm, since we are forgotten when our cis-het counterparts go back to living their lives, accessing their privileges. 

Our existence is still being learned about and continue to be often debated.

In those lives pronouns do not matter, neither there is any confusion on which bathroom to use, nor are any aspects of their social, legal and medical rights impacted because of who they are. When they meet us again, there is once again fear; fear that they will misgender us, or say the wrong things. We have come to a place where we are more comfortable in holding cis men accountable, but we struggle to do the same with cis women. Cis-feminist principles have harmed queer-trans* individuals and right now, intersectional feminism is not an option or a mere discussion any more, but a mandatory and required action. 

DEIB versus lived experience as labor and expertise

I am not at all against the concept of diversity, equity, inclusion and belongingness. However, we must remember diversity is not a quota that once organisations check the boxes, it grants automatic inclusion. Inclusion is not the mere presence of diverse people, but a process of constant effort. 

It includes being open to being called-out, not being defensive and being quiet and listening. Equity and inclusivity is not just listening to the voice of the marginalised, but ensuring that their labor of educating the space they occupy is verbally, emotionally and financially recognized. The tax queer and trans* people pay for just being and existing are met and understood. 

Inclusion is not the mere presence of diverse people, but a process of constant effort. 

For example, in the context of queer and trans* people this may include recognising body dysphoria and ensuring that they are not forced to keep their cameras switched on in online meetings. It can mean ensuring that transition costs are included in salaries if medical insurance does not cover it. 

What I am saying is that intentional effort needs to be made beyond just doing the bare minimum. Which is to say, simply remembering someone’s pronouns and making that a point of celebration.

This piece does not seek to dismiss the contributions of any organizations working in the impact sector, but to confront with care the realities that impacts queer-trans* communities adversely. My love for this sector is unending, because the sector has taught me to confront my privileges, has taught me to give, even when it is difficult for me to give, to communities and people. To remember, above all, that dignity, respect and access is everyone’s right. 

This pride month, let us not limit ourselves to the  basics but push ourselves to truly do the most we can. This pride month, let us stay away from using queer-trans* folks as optics to generate visibility without ensuring intentional effort of ensuring that formal care structures are present. This pride month, let us pledge to ensure that:

• Safeguarding policies and bodies that specifically address discrimination against queer-trans* folk are present in organizations and collectives.
• “I am learning” is not used to shed accountability.
• Queer inclusion is not limited to Pride Month.
• Lived expertise is not taken as free labour. Organizations often say that their queer and trans* employees are teaching them a lot. If that is so, it must be ensured that the cost of teaching is paid for and not taken for granted.
• Queer and trans* people’s experiences are recorded and used to shift any barrier that has caused hindrance in their growth and development.
• Gender affirming care is provided. This is not an option for trans* folks.
• More queer and trans* people should be present in senior leadership positions.
• Ensuring that data and evidence does not intentionally dismiss queer-trans* realities in communities so that harm is not caused. It is important to remember that readiness for a space has to be created before a marginalised person arrives. The onus of making space does not lie with marginalised people.

About the Author:

Riju is an intersectional trans* feminist, social worker, and storyteller. She holds over eight years of experience in gender justice, masculinities and queer and trans* rights. She has worked as an educator, facilitator, curriculum developer, MEL and social impact programme designer across various states of India. She currently works in Breakthrough, leading training and capacity building in Delhi and Haryana.