In Focus 28th December, 2018

‘Aurat Hi Aurat Ki Dushman Hai’ – We Beg To Differ!.

The idea of women turning on each other is one of patriarchy’s favourite stepping stones. But we reached out to women who are members of the SHEROES community and found many narratives that do not subscribe to this outdated stereotype. Here are 16 voices – of love, solidarity, support and friendship –  that completely debunk the myth where women are considered to be each other’s worst enemies.

1. Unconditional support

All I needed at that point was her support and that helped me so much

My friend Nupur Gautam has been along my side for the past 10 years. We met in school in 10th standard and we never thought we will ever be friends. But in the 11th standard, we ended up being together in the same class and that’s how our friendship started. We have been together through ups and downs. I make and sell hand-painted bottles and lamps and I had an order of 20 bottles which I had to deliver in a very short span of time. Managing work and the bottles had become the biggest task and a source of immense stress. I was working in the mornings, painting in the evenings and sleeping for 3 -4 hours every day. I was in a state of total chaos. I was home alone with all the work and I was really stressed and wasn’t able to function plus I was sleep deprived. All I did was gave nupur a call and said – ‘Bro! I need you. Please ghar Aaja’. The moment she got free from the office, she came over to my house near 7 PM and helped me out with the work. I delivered my order on time and can not thank her enough for being there for me, helping me out with a skill she doesn’t have and supporting me without any questions

– Yashmita Singh

2. Pillar of strength

Though now she is miles away and busy, I know that I can count on her

Honestly, I did have not many female friends during my school or college. Maybe because I was different and never behaved ‘girly’. I don’t know why. But when I was working, I met Kavita Thapa. She has been a pillar for me – a strength which I thought I never had. She was there in both low and happy times. I can’t thank her enough. 

– Nandita Singh

3. Ammi is the best friend I could have asked for

She just knew when I was having my ups and downs because in her life, at some point, she has been through the same.

Our bond is so strong, that sometimes I really feel too thankful to God. She supports my every decision and never lets family and relatives discourage me. Whenever some relatives point out my ignorance about home chores and how will I be a good wife or something useless, my mother answers them: “My daughter does not want to marry, and even I am not going to let anyone marry her because how can a girl who does not know how to cook or behave like a lady deserve marriage”? The sarcasm in her tone makes all of them back off. I’m so proud of my Ammi and our beautifully strong relationship.

– Haramrit Kaur

4. Share everything

We have every piece of information for each other’s requirements.

Women friends are special because we share each and everything. We can share every perspective and feeling with each other. Starting from period pains, first kiss, nail paint colour, jewellery, diet to follow or not, etc. 

– Ashwini

5. Better than male friends

‘Aurat hi Aurat ki Dushman’ is not a fact, it’s just a made up sentence.

Being a teacher, I many of my best female friends and fellow female teachers always help and cooperate with me in my worst days. I can confidently say: “Aurat hi aurat ki dost hai”.

– Subuhi Mirza

6. Mom is my support system

She is the only one who supports her daughter in every situation.

In my point of view – every daughter has a great bond with her mother. I love my mom very much. I can’t imagine anything without her. I have one more support system – my sister-in-law Ruby Singhal who always takes care of me in my sorrow and is always with me in every situation

– Versha Gupta

7. Mom – My emotional fallback

She always inspired me to see the plus in the minus – as two minuses make a plus.

I always count on only one person – my mother – my emotional fallback person, my close friend, and with whom I am open to. She has always guided me in the right path. She taught me to be dignified and not earn my dignity at others’ cost.

8. Dad and mum are my strength

Both dad and mum have always been my strength and both differ in their styles of dealing with me. Now in sheroes – I have found many such bonds.

9. Honorary sister/mother

I have many school and college friends. I play the role of sister/mother with them now. In our childhood, we always talked about everything. We made the most of our adolescence too.

– Uma Krithi

10. No one can replace her

Our bond is very strong because she knows me very well.

My sweet mother is one of the best friends in my life. Nobody can replace her. My tastes, sorrows, happiness and weaknesses. She always supported all my decisions and also helps make good decisions. I thank my God for giving me a mother like her.

– Sumimol Ks

11. A special power

  I believe in this phrase – “aurat hi aurat ki dost hai” – because women have the special power to share with and understand each other.

– Renu Chawla

12. An emotional connect

The fact that I have had them [my friends] around for over 11 years, in spite of me being quite different in terms of my interests – the connect is emotional.

– Shruti Sharada

13. Most beautiful gift

Their caring and supportive nature is the most beautiful thing gifted by someone to you.

Anshu Tyagi

14. Family no bar

My sister is my best friend. She is very sweet and caring. Her children are also my best friends.

Priyanka Singh

15. Permanent source of support and advice

Meri di meri sabse acchi dost hai, wo mujhe bahut support karti hai aur humesha advice deti hai.

Soniya Bansal

16. My real soul and life

My mom and dad are my best friends. My two sisters and brother are my real soul and life – they understand me completely and have supported me my whole life.

Rekha Saxena

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